2019.02.23 Vexent: Oneman Live

Had food before the live! They had the sakura flavored frap and they had avocado salmon sandwich! 

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Vexent Oneman Live

2019.2.23 恵比寿club aim

OPEN 17:30/START18:00

前売 ￥3,000

Although I got a #26 ticket for this live, I somehow ended on the second to last full row at the live. The people on the first two rows wouldn't move up further so it was pretty packed at the back. I wasn't able to see them clearly because my contacts were the perfect prescription. I wasn't sure how I felt about being at the live..... in the beginning, it was really hard for me to even crack a smile. I wasn't able to feel anything nor much feelings. There were smiles from the stage but somehow I am just not feeling it to the max. It could be because I was literally in the back or it's cause I just haven't accepted them as one of my official tops yet. I've tried to enjoy the music and tried hard to try to remember the furi to get ready for 3/2!

I didn't remember much during the live because I was so focused on the furi... but the MC part was pretty funny and just pretty much nonsense like the typical them. Mako kept trying to say that they have 5 last one mans and this time is the 3rd and he was trying to say let's all enjoy it to the last etc kind of thing. He literally kept repeating the same words over and over again as if he couldn't get his words together. I was wondering if he was tipsy on stage or not lol.

The whole time, I have seem Mako smile a lot on stage but I wasn't able to feel anything from it. I am not sure what type of person he really is, I am not sure if he's a heartless asshole or a soft heart strong personality person, I'm not sure if I want to accept this fandom in my heart knowing they will disband on me in May... I am not sure what to do about it. I am not sure how my puppy feelings are for Mako... I know I won't ever want to leave but I am also not sure what approach to used whenever I can interact with Mako in person or online. Because in my eyes regarding Mako, it's very realistic, he is just a normal human being doing his job... I couldn't get myself to worship him nor act all girly and soft on him. But I also want to win and be on his good side because obviously he was aware about the other bands that I like since he social media stalks his fans. He is clear that I have like 4 other band on my top list above Vexent and I have other top fav band guys way on top of him.

After the main live finished, they came back out for encore. They did the gyakudai song! For the first few rounds I did not participate but everyone around me participated so at the last few rounds I went up for it but I am also pretty sure Mako saw me but he didn't point at me or motion me to come but he did for others so whatever I didn't plan on going but then I couldn't resist wanting to go so I did in the end haha.... Yeah as expected, he was touching people hand and heads but he never touched my head. He did only slightly touched my hand but that was it.... I swear he hates me alright haha cause I'm not his main gya. But there was a moment I couldn't forget. During one of the gyakudai rounds that I went for, he was looking at the faces of the gya who were doing the gyadudai.... he leaned down... out of nowhere during one of the moments, his face was in front of me, looking at me, our eyes and smile met for a good 2 seconds. It was genuine. His smile was so gorgeous...... that face was so pretty that I couldn't look at his face really because his face was too perfect.... *sigh*

After the live, I got enough chekis to get one satsueikai. I was the first one to take a photo because I needed to leave ASAP so I got in line as the first since most girls don't even want to take it first but I didn't give a crap cause of the time... To my surprise he was in casual clothing!!! He looked sooooo good.... Like soooo good.... his silver hair.... his lightly tinted pink lips and his height is so perfect ahh........... I was kinda in a frozen state. I forgot if I even smiled or looked happy when I saw him.

Mu: hellllllo
Ma: hello
Mu: I like your lip color. It’s pretty! *I pointed to my lip to motion "lips" LOL*
Ma: hm? Your lip color?
Mu: no!! Yours!! Pink! so pretty!
Ma: ah thanks. *proceeds to sitting down so I followed* Musica right?
Mu: ......*shocked for 1 second* YES! Thank you!
*settled down properly for the photo*
Mu: what pose?
Ma: what pose?
Mu: nandemoii
Ma: hai *puts his arm around me and did peace sign................*
Mu: *follows and kinda pissed but still have to look the prettiest lol*
*both of of stood up*
*and then I think hand shake???*
Mu: see you next week.... with Jamie!
Ma: un.
Mu: in saizen but sorry I still dunno all the furi...
Ma: it’s totally fine! *gentle expression*
*he released his hand shake and I was confused because that was faster than I thought but then it turned out that he held my hand in another position... like a.... hand hug handshake..... ....I was really confused why he did that and then he looked at my nails....*

Ma: Your nail is pretty *he was looking at the thumb one*
Mu: *still in shocked mode because he not only noticed my nails but also complimented them* Thank you!!!
(I forgot who said it first but we said bye to each other)
Ma: “bai bai”
Mu: “bai bai!..... BAI BAI 😄”

Sigh.... Mako..... He was the first band guy to notice my nails. No other band guys ever complimented on my nails before. But that is also kinda creepy that he notices fans so much. I don't want him to look at my face... I don't want him to look at how old I am compared to his other high school/college age fans. But I really appreciates him so much for remembering my name and complimented my nails (;___;) What should I do about him.. what are my puppy feelings towards Mako... I have no idea ah.... I just don't want to end up liking him so much but then he doesn't come back like Cion and just keeps doing sessions and etc......

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