The day started with meeting up with Paula and enjoying some good food before the live! We sat at the Pearl Lady Cafe to write our letters to the VRZEL members. After that, we headed to the live. We have ticket numbers in the mid 60's so SUPPOSEDLY we could have a better spot at the live but the dumbass me lost my ticket RIGHT outside, RIGHT before entering the venue so yeah long story short, the seller from the BRATBAX live and 30's 6/8 live ticket gave me a free ticket to go in the 6/9 live so I didn't have to buy a same day ticket. But yeah because of I lost my ticket, we ended up in the far mid half of the floor.... I have NEVER lost a ticket before. NEVER.... until this day. The most important day of this trip. I never figured out what happened to my 60's ticket and I still hate myself for it but I was super thankful for that fan who gave me the free ticket. I was so close to crying because I didn't know what to do and I would have had such a shitty day if I have to spend an extra 4000 yen on a same day ticket standing in the farthest back. And so thankful for Paula for making sure I was looking my best that day and fixing my hair and shirt. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
(゜´Д｀゜)
VRZEL 2days最終単独公演-Day 2-
2018年6月9日(土) HOLIDAY SHINJUKU
OPEN 17:00/START 17:30
ADV ￥3500/DAY ￥4000(D別)
■撮影会のお知らせ■
物販で総額
5000円以上ご購入で6ショット。7500円以上で2ショット。撮影会にご参加頂けます。
(総額12500円以上で6ショット2ショット両方参加可能です)
※終演後は物販列は3列とさせて頂きます。順にお並びください。
※事前物販で購入された分はスタッフより証明の紙をもらってください。
※紙をなくされた場合は合算計算できませんのでお気を付けください。
※撮影は撮影券の番号順に6ショットから行います。6ショットと2ショット両方お持ちの方は6ショット撮影後に連続して2ショット撮影を行いますので終演後ご準備をしてお待ちください。
物販で総額
5000円以上ご購入で6ショット。7500円以上で2ショット。撮影会にご参加頂けます。
(総額12500円以上で6ショット2ショット両方参加可能です)
※終演後は物販列は3列とさせて頂きます。順にお並びください。
※事前物販で購入された分はスタッフより証明の紙をもらってください。
※紙をなくされた場合は合算計算できませんのでお気を付けください。
※撮影は撮影券の番号順に6ショットから行います。6ショットと2ショット両方お持ちの方は6ショット撮影後に連続して2ショット撮影を行いますので終演後ご準備をしてお待ちください。
Today they wore their latest stage outfit for today's live. Cion had bright color ropes tied on his gorgeous black hair and he had purple eye shadow with red lipstick on. I realllllly love his look today. (I love all his looks lol!) So yeah due to my clumsiness, I ended up with a bad spot to stand at. Paula and I stood to the left where near the back middle area of the floor.
The first song was the new song Murderer Psychopathy, I actually didn't notice this was a new song and couldn't enjoy it fully since I was too troubled with my lack of space to even do any furi. (Damn those people in the front hogging a lot of space for not being considerate of the people in the back..)
I had trouble doing furitsuke and seeing the members. There were at least two times when my head crashed with the girl's head in front of me because she was headbanging diagonally due to lack of space... But throughout the live, Cion noticed the back of the live was like crammed up and he told the people in the front at least twice to move up to make space for the people in the back. Also about more than halfway into the live, he asked why the there's a huge empty space on the left of the floor near the front and it turned out that people's bags were there and so no one could have stood there..... Then told them to put their bags behind the saizen bar instead so we could all move closer to the front! (Ahhhh~ Cion is so nice. I finally had a better view of all of them after that, but yeah that didn't happen till like mid-live)
They didn't perform Misery like the usual. This time, they just went straight to the song. (Usually, they would make us go to the left side and then do a full floor mosh.) I usually would try to do all the furi for this song as much as possible even though it's an impossible for me but this time it was really impossible because I barely even had space to mosh, therefore I couldn't even headbang at all.
In the beginning of Shinkaigyo, he shouted, "セックスをしようぜぇ~!"........ ok Cion ... Ok......... You can do that with yourself on stage on the spot please :)
I had to hold on to Paula's hand during most of the ballads (;___;) During 絢爛の蜜, Cion sang the first few lines without music and then the music came along. This was one of the most beautiful performance of this song ever.
The running mosh part of Honesty scared the shit out of Paula because she wasn't expecting anything like that at all LOOOL! I LOVE HONESTY FURIII!!!!
During one of Ryoya's solo guitar moments, he stepped to the center while Cion went to drink some water. When he was back, Cion touched Ryoya's ass from the back motioning him to get the f*** out of his center position!!! (hahaha)
During Chu-ru, Cion was messing with Ryoya and also pretended to "lick" Kuu and Kira. He was basically being a brat on stage <3
As usual, I don't do the rotational headbang during Rasen and just stare at Cion doing that. Usually Kira doesn't do anything but point fans out who doesn't do it but today, most likely it's the last live and he wanted to give it his all, he was playing his part on the bass properly during that moment. His seriousness made him even more attractive than ever.
The first encore started just like how it did yesterday. Kuu came out as temporary vocal, Kira and Ryoya did a showdown on who poses with their equipment the more kakkoi, and Cion came on stage last!
They played a song that I've never heard of before, Crammy. There was a few rounds of gyaku-dai during this song!!!!!!! He was doing gyaku-dai at the center, right, and left side. He was shouting, "don't think and just come!". I really wanted to join the gyaku-dai but the people in front of me wasn't doing it and I was in the back AND I WAS SHYYYY!!!!! When he did it in the center, I could barely see but when he did it on the right, I had *I really wanted to go up there but I am too shy to* face expression on me and I think he saw my face lol! And when he came to the left side I decided I need to go cause IT'S THE LAST VRZEL GYAKU-DAI SO I MUST DO IT. So I had to literally push through the two girls in front of me. I remember they wouldn't budge in the beginning but I forced my way through to join the gyaku-dai. I joined somewhere on the right side of the crowd as well and I looked up to see Cion grabbing hands and/or blowing water. After it was over, I went back to my original position and it seemed like the girl standing to my left(kira fan) also joined the gyaku-dai as well because I saw her returning to her spot as well. Then there were 1~2 more gyaku-dai rounds but I didn't go for it since I didn't want to push through anymore but it was fun still!
They played アングレカム as the last song of the first encore (as expected). I thought I was going to cry but I didn't. I just tried to listen to the lyrics carefully and observe Cion sing the song full of emotions. After that, they all went backstage again and everyone shouted for another encore.
During the second encore (last encore), they came out and gave their disbandment speeches. Shikina ended up crying near the end of his speech. Kuu and Ryoya didn't cry. Kira was sobbing before he even started his speech like a baby. Cion sounded sad but he seemed fine as well. But I felt he was kinda like Byo. They don't like to express their sad feelings by words much but their actions show it eventually on social media or something... (;___;) Ryoya asked to redo a guitar twin solos with Kuu again... the last solo he played on stage in his life.
During every single song that they performed, my eyes were fed with all that I wanted to see. The way Cion sings, the way he moves his hands and arms, the way he holds his microphone, the way he taps his index finger on his mic.... I love it. I love everything of his... including his selfish bratty personality.
Up to the second encore, I haven't cried (yet) and I thought *wow, I guess I ain't gonna cry during this live then*.... but when they sang Fivefold Envy as their very last song...... it finally hit me and next thing I knew, I was sobbing. Fivefold Envy isn't my favorite song out of all their songs but it is one of the most important songs to me. That was the era I started to pay more attention to them. I am very happy about the fact that the live ended with ENVY. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Up to the second encore, I haven't cried (yet) and I thought *wow, I guess I ain't gonna cry during this live then*.... but when they sang Fivefold Envy as their very last song...... it finally hit me and next thing I knew, I was sobbing. Fivefold Envy isn't my favorite song out of all their songs but it is one of the most important songs to me. That was the era I started to pay more attention to them. I am very happy about the fact that the live ended with ENVY. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
After that, there was a piano version of アングレカム as background music. Cion did the closing speech and then told the fans to hold hands with each other to do a final jump. After they all left the stage, they left the lights off for a few minutes while still having the piano music in the background...... and then sounds of sobbing all over. I think I ended up sobbing while leaning on Mama Paula's shoulder (T__T)
Photo Session:
I was stuck between the decision of taking two 2shots with cion or one Kira with one Cion but I decided on the second choice after I saw Kira sobbing like a baby. He loves this band because it is HIS band. He is the leader. He deserves that 2shot. In a normal situation, I would take two 2shots with Cion but this wasn't a normal situation so I wanted to just capture the last memories with both Cion and Kira. I had given up trying to think of a way to garentee a smile or even just a cute pose with Cion but I didn't want to straight up tell him "SMILE PLEASE" so I decided to just ask for a hug or go along with whatever. I was so focused on how to guarantee a smile with Kira that I had forgotten to plan out what to say to them during the photo session.
When it was my turn, the staff asked me who I want to be next to me for the 6shot and I said Cion and Ryoya. They had to double check what I said with me most likely because I am taking a twoshot with Cion and Kira but I want Ryoya instead of Kira for the 6th shot LOL..
So I walked in and I barely looked at the band guys while we greeted each other. I was just looking down at the floor/at my seat when I was heading to my seat. I felt both Cion and Ryoya rested their arms on me...and I tried to do a cute heart pose while looking at Cion's direction but I failed to look the way I wanted to haha!!!! I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT RYOYA SMILED IN MY GROUP SHOT.... THAT BITCH FINALLY SMILED AHH!!!! I'VE WAITED SO MUCH, HE FINALLY SMILED. THAT IS GOLD. I dislike how I look in the photo but I will treasure it so much because Ryoya finally smiled for me..... this means a lot to me because it must mean he is happy. He once said that he only smiles when he wants to and thinks its fun/is happy. So that meant he finally approves of my existence.
After the group shot was taken, all the members left to the side but Cion, to my left, stayed in his seat and was about to take his two shot with me. I wanted to save the best for last so I quickly said, "先に綺羅さん、、、" and Cion was like, "ah ok! Kira first!" and he got up and Kira sat down to my left. (I know, I am picky. People may think why does it matter who went first. BUT IT DOES MATTER TO ME.) While Kira was sitting down, I told him quickly that I like his smile. (I said that to hint to him that I want him to smile haha... but it was still up to him to smile with lips closed or open if he even decides to smile!) I forgot if he replied me because my mind couldn't function properly anyways. I just remembered to face the camera and smileeeeeeeeed for the photo. We thanked each other, Kira got up and Cion sat on my right. (I think he was standing on the right to wait I guess.. but I didn't notice because I was too mesmerized by Kira. He looks like an angel.) Right after Cion sat down, before I even got a chance to say anything, he brought my head to his shoulder with his left hand. At that exact moment... the words finally came out of my mouth and I said "hug..." and he released my head and I looked up at him and he said "eh?" and I really wanted to say *nothing, just do what you intended to do..* BUT NO WORDS CAME OUT BUT JUST ME STARING AT HIM FOR 2 SECOND AND then he immediately pulled me back to him but this time he put his hand on my shoulders. The whole time I felt like a doll though LOL, like I had no idea whatever so was happening and just let him pose me. I figured my hair was covering my whole face so I tried to do a peace sign to hold at least a small part of my hair so I can still see a tiny bit of my face. After the photo, we stood up and thanked each other. The staff told me to exit through the other side and I said wait I gotta get my bag and I had letters to give to them... I handed one to Ryoya first and said to him "Thank you for speaking!". Then I handed my letter to Kira and he looked at me smiling and said in English, "Thank you very much!!!" and i smiled back and repeated him with his accent, "Thank YOU very much!" (Obviously no one noticed my purposely distorted accent mimicking Kira). Lastly , I handed my two letters to Cion to my right. He said thank you! After he took a quick glimpse at the two envelopes, he said "Oh!" I never figured out why he said that. I'm not sure if he was surprised that I wrote him two letters or if he remembered my name from twitter. After that I just bowed to them all and said thank you. Cion seemed to be taken by surprised that I bowed and in return, he semi-bowed to me and said, "No, I THANK YOU". The last thing I did was.... just stared at Ryoya for my last 5 seconds there with them. I had such a sad face while wanting to speak to Ryoya. He had a soft face when I said to him, "it's the last right? Thank you very very much..!" And then I realized Cion was actually waiting for me I think... or at least he didn't start walking to the seat next to Paula, the next person for the photo, till I was done thanking Ryoya. But I think by then.. time was limited and he couldn't wait anymore or he figured I had no intention of saying more to him.. haha. Sorry. My brain couldn't function. I wish I got the guts and nerves to look at Cion in his eyes and spoke with him. My last memory screen shot was of Ryoya's face and the back of Cion who was walking towards the seats *sigh*
I couldn't get myself to look at my photos and had to ask Paula to look at them first. She said they weren't bad. I took a look at them and omg.... I LOOK SO GREAT WITH KIRA!!!!! We matched so well! Our hair, our shirt and pose... ahh!!!! I am so glad that the photo with him ended up so nice. I am so happy that he smiled!! And then on to Cion's... hahahahahaa. Ok I hate how I look in the photo but.... I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE HOW CION LOOKS. He smiled with mouth open!!! His smile and face looked genuinely happy! I was low key stalking other fans' two shots and Cion didn't smile with mouth open in all the others who posted on public. Not saying that I want to compare but.. I really wanted to know why he smiled with mouth opened in mine. What triggered it? There may be two possible reasons: he saw that Kira and I were both smiling in our two shot so he decided to smile too so he can look better than Kira in the photos/or just assumed I will be smiling like that with him too so he just went along with it OR through my inability to properly tell him I want a hug, he prob thought to himself *this silly/baka girl... haha...she can never express what she wants to say but she's always supporting us so thank you*. I will probably never find my answer to this but I am super happy about all those photos. Thank you for the last smiles!
Julia came to meet up with me at the venue to meet up with me for the last time before I head back to USA the next day! We went to eat at Saizeriya, chatted for a long time, and then headed back home/airbnb!
( ´•̥ו̥` )
Cion and Kira's last live posts
‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚
My last live of this trip and VRZEL's official last live. This was the second band I went to a last live of and feelings were similar to the first, SCREW's. I was in denial. I didn't want to believe VRZEL is no longer VRZEL after this day. But I want to accept it, I want to face this with my true feelings. However every time I want to cry for VRZEL, something in my thoughts didn't allow me to and it makes me feel pathetic for crying because it's not productive... I end up feeling stupid and I waste time and etc. The whole time, I was stuck with opposing feelings and thoughts. I was unconsciously denying this day and also had my realistic logical self telling myself that it's just a band, I will still continue to live on fine and need not to waste time being sad over people who I am just a fan to. Well, let's just say... I was emotionally confused of all my actions and feelings. I was not forcing myself to be realistic, it wa just that my realistic self is too strong in the emotions game. And I mainly wanted to know... WHY. Why did VRZEL have to disband? WHY.... When Lycaon and SCREW disbanded, I knew/predicted the reason(s). But for VRZEL..... there wasn't any official message or anything on the reasoning. Was it really because Ryoya wanted to retire??? He kept tweeting about he was tired of being lied to and be betrayed and etc.... Who betrayed him? The other members did? Did those betrayals lead to him wanting to retire as a band man... or it had nothing to do with it and he just wanted to find a new life? Or BLOOM just no longer wants to continue anymore... There are so much questions I want to ask but I will prob never find the answers to those. I am not pissed off. I am just confused to the max level. I am still not certain if it was a good or bad thing that I became a hardcore fan of VRZEL because they caused more trouble for me than any other bands did but I've gotta say... that VRZEL was one of a kind. They were perfect and will continue to live in my heart forever. Experiences that I've had with this band cannot be replaced by any other. How I wish that I could have more time with this band but I am super grateful that I had a great 5 weeks in Japan last year semi-following them. No regrets to going all the way to Sendai for their one-man in between two Tokyo live days and no regrets traveling to Osaka, Niigata, Sendai for their shusai lives. As my 2018 VRZEL Japan trip is coming to an end... I am not sure if I will regret coming to see them during their last moments or think if it was worth it. I have many unspeakable reasons why and no one is to be able to decide the answer for me. My mix feelings might not be able to go away till things are cleared up but I do want to thank VRZEL for all the memories and for all their performances and music. Sometimes I really hate myself for what I have become for VRZEL and the actions I've taken and feelings I've had but..... well.... everything is over after this day. I will cherish whatever memories I've had with them and take whatever that's bad as a lesson learned for the future.
This fandom was too short for me, it really was. I've became attracted to Cion's face since 2015 but didn't find their music interesting at all till 2016. But even so, I was just still a face fan between 2015 to mid 2017. I was constantly trying their new music out during those two years but it was just on and off interest in their music since his voice was just average. When they released the preview for their first full album Murderer Psychopathy, I remembered I was just casually playing the preview (music only and not pv) in the background on YT and I was doing whatever I was doing (surfing the web? I forgot) and then suddenly, my attention was grabbed by the ballads in the preview.... I WAS SOLD IMMEDIATELY. I thought WOW so it's time. It was time finally!!!!! IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO BECOME THEIR FAN... and yeah yeah yeah I did all that work to change my 2017 Nov trip flight reservation paying $300 just to make it to their Osaka instore event and live because I wanted to go to that instore specifically. Well, that WAS GOLD. That instore was by far, the most unforgettable and best instore ever. And it was funny because I told Karyta about it and she listened to the preview and she agreed with me!!! She told me about the pv preview too that I didn't notice because I was too drowned in by the album preview only... and... omg. Ibitsu PV preview... got me even deeper in this fandom trap more than ever. Everything about Cion, his outfit, his hair, the way he moves his arms and fingers, AND MOST IMPORTANT WAS THE SONG..... WAS PERFECT. I think I knew that time that I couldn't escape from this fandom at all. I got the exact same feelings of obsession like how I did for Lycaon (other than I never thought Yuuki was good looking till after I got into their music). While everyone was obsessed over VRZEL's near naked VAMP PV, I was crazy over the full dressed costume Ibitsu PV.... lol. I had no interest in topless band guys at all and just was heads over heels over the Ibitsu song. And throughout the years of being a face fan, Cion was and is still too perfect in my eyes. Like he's too perfect to obsess over officially... do I make sense? I probably do not make sense but he just seems too perfect for me to be a fangirl of. But like every single damn fandom that I ended up being obsessed with... I wish I liked them earlier. But then thinking about it it couldn't have happened for VRZEL because during 2015, I was obsessed with Lycaon. And in 2016, I focused on SCREW after Lycaon disbanded. And then... most likely I finally really gave VRZEL an official chance since Lycaon and Screw have long disbanded. I honestly wish I saw them in 2016 at their halloween live. I was soooo close to going but I backed out since they required fans to wear a costume but I really didn't feel comfortable that time to wear one. I even once had a thought back in 2016 or early 2017 that I will prob never end up liking VRZEL hardcore after the first few failed attempts to check out their music... well, I was wrong I guess. It wasn't the right timing back then and I guess it couldn't be helped.
I am tired. Very tired. I do not want to get into another fandom but I feel I am not ready to stop yet nor I want to settle for a second option or just a replacement. I have a few potential replacement bands on my list but it just would be a waste of money for that temp 5 second happiness because it's not who I really want to see. I want Cion to be my last obsession but I want that obsession to last longer. Cion and Kira, please come back together in a new band. Kuu as well. I love the fanservice moments between Cion and Kuu. I can never find another diva as diva and perfect as Cion. I'll never forget VRZEL Cion even if in the future he changes music scenes or style. Just like I will never forget the slutty classy Yuuki. Regardless of whatever their choices are, I will support them within my reasonable ability.
Since the beginning of my hardcore VRZEL fandom journey to now, I've taken a total of 16 two-shots with Cion. My like all my twoshots but for sure the first one is the most unforgettable but that's also the 2shot that fans are not allowed to post because it's from "that" instore *cough cough*
2017.11~2018.06
いつもありがとうございました！
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